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PERSONAL STRUGGLES

Why You Spiral for Days After the Ex Triggers You

23 December 2025

High Conflict Blueprint cover image with "When You've Been Triggered and You're Spralling"

You know that feeling when you've been triggered.


She sends that text, makes that comment, or pulls something, and instantly, your heart's pounding. You feel shaky.


Then you react. Maybe you snap. Maybe you say something you regret.

And then the spiral starts.


Hours later, you're still thinking about it.


You try to focus on work – but you can't. That night, you're awake at 2am, still replaying it.


The next day, you're exhausted. Short-tempered. And beating yourself up.

"Why can't I just let this go?"


There's a good reason why you can't just let it go when his ex triggers you. And once you understand what's actually happening in your brain when you get triggered and why you can't stop the spiral, it becomes a lot easier to see the way out.


If you've lost entire days spiralling after dealing with a high conflict ex, this episode is for you.


WHAT YOU'LL LEARN


  • What's really happening in your body when the high conflict ex triggers you – and why your brain treats it like you're in actual danger

  • Why you keep retriggering yourself hours or days later (and how to recognise when you're doing it)

  • The gap between knowing what to do and actually being able to do it – and what needs to happen first

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Hi, I'm Kellie

I'm a stepmum of two, a high conflict survivor and a certified coach. My mission is to help stepmums (and stepmoms) like you handle the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I've used them myself).​

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