Why You're So Triggered by the Ex
EMOTIONAL SURVIVAL
5 August 2025
Player loading, please wait...
In today’s episode, we dig into the real reason you feel so emotionally hijacked by her drama. You’ll learn how emotional triggers actually work, why your reactions feel so intense, and what’s really going on when her drama hits you so hard.
Because once you understand what’s underneath your reaction, you can change it.
I’ll walk step-by-step through a practical process to help you identify your triggers, uncover what’s driving them, and how to shift them.
If you're tired of spiralling every time the high conflict ex stirs drama, this episode will give you a way forward.
Key Takeaways
The things that trigger you the most are tied to deeply held beliefs, which are often connected to old pain that never fully healed.
As children we form beliefs like "I'm not worthy" or "people always leave me" to make sense of things we don't understand, and as adults, we can choose what we want to believe instead.
Notice the reaction in your body, name the emotion, and ask what thought flashed through your mind just before it, then dig to the belief underneath.
Gently challenge the belief, and choose a new one on purpose. It will feel awkward at first, that's normal, keep practising anyway.
Next Steps
If one message from her sends you into a spiral:
→ The 30 Minute Reset gives you a simple way to shut down the spiral fast – so you can get on with your day.
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).