How to Deal With Her Toxic Messages - No Overthinking Required
COMMUNICATION
17 February 2026
Draft. Delete. Rewrite. Delete. An hour later, you're still there, trying to figure out how to answer the ex's latest awful message in a way that doesn't set her off again.
But no matter how carefully you word it, no matter how reasonable you are, it never lands the way you hope.
And tomorrow, or next week, there'll be another message, and you'll be right back here again. Hoping that this time, if you just get the wording right, she'll finally hear you.
But she won't. Because she's not waiting for your answer. She's waiting for your reaction. And every time you explain or defend or justify – she gets leverage. You're not in a conversation, you're in an endurance test. And you will lose – she will go as long as she needs to go to exhaust you.
There is only one thing that lowers conflict with a high conflict ex. And it's not better words – it's less words. Today I'm going to show you exactly how to deal with toxic ex messages – and I'm revealing two new tools that will help you stop agonising each time a message comes through. No overthinking required.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
Why responding to a toxic ex with reason and explanation always backfires – and what to do instead
How to strip a high conflict message down to what actually matters so you can stop reacting emotionally
Exactly how to handle three of the most common messages a high conflict ex sends – false accusations, demands, and threats
Why less engagement is the only thing that lowers conflict — and how two new tools make it easier to do it
RESOURCES MENTIONED
👉 The No Drama Responder (Custom GPT)
👉 The No Drama Script Pack
👉 Free CLEAR Communication Guide
MORE FROM ME
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Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, a high conflict survivor and a certified coach. My mission is to help stepmums (and stepmoms) like you handle the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I've used them myself).