Are You Being Manipulated By the High Conflict Ex?
HIGH CONFLICT EXPLAINED
9 December 2025
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You walk away from a conversation with the ex and feel... confused. Guilty, even.
You know she was in the wrong. But somehow, by the end of it, you or your partner were apologising. Did she just manipulate you? Or are you just overthinking it?
Here's the truth – if you're confused, there's a good chance you're being manipulated.
And the worst part is that you can start doubting yourself. Maybe you are remembering it wrong. Maybe this really is your fault. But it's not. And I'm going to show you why.
I'll walk you through the five most common manipulation tactics high conflict people use, how to recognise them, and most importantly – how to stop yourself from being manipulated.
Key Takeaways
Manipulation is designed to be confusing, to make you question yourself instead of her.
Five common manipulation tactics high conflict people use are projection, guilt-tripping, blameshifting, gaslighting, and triangulation.
Instead of thinking "she's so manipulative" try "ok, so this is the behavior I'm dealing with, what now?". That is much more empowering and it gives you something you can actually work with.
When she manipulates, what she really wants is your reaction. So if you react, you're giving her more ammunition. Your most powerful response is to not engage with the manipulation.
Responding is different from engaging. You can respond, without engaging. You respond only to the facts, while not engaging in the drama.
Next Steps
If you've ever felt like nobody actually gets what this is like:
→ I do. Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it).
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).