When His Family Still Includes the Ex & You Feel Like You Don’t Belong
TAKING YOUR LIFE BACK
21 October 2025
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She's at family gatherings. His mum still helps her out. His sister invites her to birthday parties. And you're left wondering – why does the ex get to stay in, while you feel like the outsider?
In this episode, I reveal why the high conflict ex still clings to his family and the manipulation tactics she uses to stay there.
You'll learn why his family allows it, and how to reduce what she gets out of it so she might give up and let go.
More importantly, I talk about what this means for you, and how to separate their choices from your worth.
If you've ever felt like you're competing for a place that should be yours, or like she's winning because his family still treats her like she belongs, this episode will help you see the situation clearly, and know what to do about it.
Key Takeaways
The ex often stays involved with your partner's family as a way to stay relevant and hold onto control, even after the relationship with him has ended.
His family often lets this happen out of guilt, habit, for the kids, or to be kind, and often they genuinely don't see the problem with keeping in touch with her.
Their continued relationship with her has nothing to do with your value as a person, a partner, or a stepmum. There is room for both of you. His family's relationship with her does not erase your relationship with them.
The ex often uses the family as a way to obtain information about your family, so your partner can ask them to be mindful of what they share with her.
Stop waiting for his family to make room for you, and start creating your own traditions and your own sense of family instead.
Next Steps
If you've ever felt like nobody actually gets what this is like:
→ I do. Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it).
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).