Why You Feel So Frustrated All the Time
TAKING YOUR LIFE BACK
9 September 2025
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You're constantly frustrated. She won't respect boundaries. He won't stand up to her. The kids walk on eggshells. Nobody does what they should do, and you're stuck feeling angry, disappointed, and resentful about it all.
Sound familiar?
In this episode, I reveal the surprising reason you feel so miserable – and it's not what you think. While you've been focused on the high conflict ex's toxic behaviour, there's something else quietly stealing your peace. It’s your "Manual” – a set of unwritten rules you have about how everyone should behave so you can be happy.
The problem? When people don't follow these rules (and they never do), you're guaranteed to feel disappointed, angry, disrespected, deflated.
I'll walk you through why these hidden expectations create so much suffering, especially when dealing with a toxic ex (who literally never does anything they’re supposed to do).
This isn't about having no boundaries or letting people treat you badly. It's about recognising that your happiness doesn't have to depend on anyone.
Take back control of how you feel, regardless of what anyone else does.
Key Takeaways
A Manual is a set of rules we have about how everyone else should behave, like "she should communicate respectfully" or "he should stand up to his ex."
We usually don't realise we have one, we just think the other person should know what to do and how to treat us.
When someone doesn't follow our Manual (and high conflict people rarely do) you're guaranteed to feel negative emotions, which means you've handed over control of your happiness to them.
Other people's behaviour has no impact on us emotionally until we think about it, interpret it, and choose to make it mean something.
Pick the person who frustrates you most, write down everything you think they should do differently, and notice how you'd feel if they actually behaved that way.
This doesn't mean you drop boundaries or accept bad treatment, it means your happiness doesn't have to depend on whether she behaves the way you think she should.
Next Steps
If you've ever felt like nobody actually gets what this is like:
→ I do. Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it).
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).