The Cost of Always Being the 'Bigger Person' While the Ex Does Whatever She Wants
TAKING YOUR LIFE BACK
6 January 2026
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You're exhausted.
Because you're doing all the work. You manage yourself. You think before you respond. You try to stay calm when you want to scream.
And the toxic ex? She gets to do whatever she wants.
She sends nasty texts, creates chaos, manipulates the kids, and faces no consequences. She gets away with everything.
You're carrying all the emotional weight. And she's not carrying any of it. And it's unfair.
But that unfairness isn't the thing that's hurting you most. It's the resentment you're carrying about it. And that resentment is costing you more than you think.
In this episode, I'm going to show you what that resentment is actually taking from you, and how to stop paying the price for her bad behaviour.
Key Takeaways
Dealing with her behaviour is difficult. But the resentment that you feel about having to be the one dealing with it is harder.
It can cost you your peace, and it can cost you your relationships. And she's not paying that cost – you are.
The reason you're the one who has to do all the emotional work is because she can’t. High conflict people lack the ability to self-regulate.
So you have two choices. You can keep resenting the fact that you have to be the adult, but you'll also be exhausted, because you're spending all your energy fighting with reality. Or you can accept the reality. And when you accept that, the resentment starts to lift.
Accepting that doesn't mean her behaviour is acceptable, it just means you stop fighting with the fact that this is happening. And when you're not fighting it, you have your energy back.
Next Steps
If you've ever felt like nobody actually gets what this is like:
→ I do. Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it).
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).