The High Conflict Ex Wants to Meet – Should You Say Yes

So... the ex wants to meet with you.

She says “it’s not unreasonable to want to meet the woman who’ll soon be living with my kids”

And it’s not unreasonable... if it was coming from someone reasonable. 

You immediately know this is a loaded invitation. Now you feel trapped between two bad options – meet and risk being interrogated, or refuse and risk being painted as rude and uncooperative. 

So is saying yes the right thing to do? 

If you say no, does that make you look like the problem? 

Today I’m going to show you what’s really behind this meeting request, and how to decide whether to say yes or no. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR STEPMUMS

• The meeting request is rarely just about getting to know you – it's usually triggered by a change in the family dynamic that's made her feel threatened.

• Her past behaviour has already shown you who she is. The dread you feel isn't paranoia – it's information.

• If she's determined to make you the problem, she can do that whether you say yes or no. The goal isn’t to make a decision based upon what that decision means about you, the goal is to choose the option that is right for you.

• You have the right to say no. Saying no doesn't make you unreasonable, difficult, or someone who can't put the kids first.

• If you do say no, keep it simple. The more you explain, the more there is for her to argue with. "That won't be possible at this time" is stronger than a five-paragraph explanation.

NEXT STEPS

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