When You Doubt Yourself & Wonder If You're the Problem

There's this question mark that seems to follow you everywhere. 

It causes you to hesitate before walking into school events. To second-guess when helping the kids with homework.  "Should I even be here?"

You didn't used to feel this way. You came into this relationship confident, ready to be part of this family.

But now you wonder if maybe the high conflict ex is right. Maybe you are overstepping. Maybe you're not helping. Maybe they'd be better off without you.

Everyone tells you she's just jealous, that you should ignore it. But that doesn't stop the doubt.

If this is you, I'm going to show you what’s really happening. Because this doubt you're carrying? It’s not about you. And I'm going to teach you how to finally put it down. 

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

• Constant comments like "You're overstepping", "You're trying to replace me", "You're harmful to my children", "You have no right to be there" – at first, maybe you brushed it off, now there's just doubt.

• Once a seed of doubt is planted, your brain looks for evidence to confirm it, so you start noticing every moment that seems to fit, even though none of it is actually proof.

• Her accusations aren't about you. High conflict people need someone to blame. By the simple fact of being in a relationship with her ex-partner you've became a target.

• The fact that you're questioning yourself is actually proof that you're thoughtful and self-aware. Someone who truly was "harmful to the children" wouldn't be lying awake worrying about it.

• To separate what's true from what's been planted, find the thought creating the doubt and ask what you're making it mean about you. Question whether you'd make that same leap about your best friend.

NEXT STEPS

If you've ever felt like nobody actually gets what this is like:

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