When You Hate the Ex & Resent Who You’ve Become
TAKING YOUR LIFE BACK
12 August 2025
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Do you ever feel consumed by hatred toward your partner’s high conflict ex?
For all the moments she’s ruined, the plans she’s disrupted, the lies, the manipulation, the way she just makes it impossible to enjoy your relationship and your life. For the fact that you even have to think about her.
In this episode, I unpack the raw, unspoken truth behind those feelings of rage and resentment.
I’ll show you what’s happening beneath the surface, and how to shift out of hate without pretending everything’s fine.
This episode is a must-listen if you’re constantly triggered, even when she’s not around, and you just want to stop this feeling, but you don’t know how.
Key Takeaways
Hate is often a mix of fear, helplessness, and unprocessed anger. If you hate someone, they don't experience it, they don't feel those emotions, you do.
A thought like "she's trying to ruin my life" creates the feeling, whether that's rage or helplessness. Try a different thought, like "that message says more about her than it does about me", and notice how much calmer that leaves your body.
Under all the manipulation is someone who truly believes they are unworthy. That doesn't excuse the behaviour, but it can shift what you feel.
Aim for neutral rather than compassion you don't feel. Even pity is a step up from white-hot rage.
Next Steps
If you've ever felt like nobody actually gets what this is like:
→ I do. Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it).
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).