How to Stop the Ex From Ruining Your Relationship
RELATIONSHIP & FAMILY
18 November 2025
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Does it feel like your entire relationship revolves around your partner's toxic ex?
You sit down for dinner and within five minutes, you're talking about something she said. You're trying to have a quiet morning and her name comes up. You want to relax on the couch with your partner but there's this tension because of what happened earlier with her.
She's not even there. But she's everywhere.
And here's the thing – you can't actually relax in your own relationship. There's no safe space from her. And this isn't just exhausting. It can actively erode your relationship.
This episode shows you how to take back the space she's occupying – in your conversations, your time together, your home, and how to create space where she doesn't get to exist at all.
By the end, you’ll know how to ex-proof your relationship so it's actually about you and your partner again.
Key Takeaways
If you're not intentional about protecting your relationship from the toxic ex, it can start to revolve around her.
When you can't relax in your own relationship, that creates tension, and over time that can lead to resentment, and you stop really talking, connecting and prioritising each other.
You need to deliberately create a new normal. One where she doesn't get to take up all the space.
Look at where she's currently showing up, certain rooms, certain times, then deliberately create new experiences there.
Set a boundary about how much you talk about her. A time limit.
Create ex-free zones, intentionally – protected times or places where she doesn't exist.
Pick one thing this week, one ritual or one space, and protect it. Then build from there.
Next Steps
If you've ever felt like nobody actually gets what this is like:
→ I do. Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it).
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).