How to Set Boundaries With A Toxic Ex (That Actually Work)
BOUNDARIES
15 July 2025
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Struggling to set boundaries with the ex?
Boundaries are non-negotiable when you’re dealing with a toxic ex, but I'm betting that the boundaries you’ve tried before have completely backfired.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to set boundaries that actually work with someone like her, and, even more importantly, how to hold those boundaries when she inevitably pushes back.
Key Takeaways
A boundary is a personal rule that defines your space or your limit, and a statement of what you will do if that limit is crossed.
Cooperating just doesn't work with high conflict people, so unless you provide clear limits, the behaviour escalates.
A strong boundary sounds like "if you continue to message me after 8pm, I will mute notifications and respond in the morning". It doesn't need her cooperation, only your own follow-through.
Boundaries are not there to control other people, or to punish them, a threat says what you'll do to them, a boundary says what you'll do to protect yourself.
Expect her to test your boundary. That's not a sign you did it wrong, it's proof it's working.
The real power of a boundary is in the consistent follow-through.
Next Steps
If you’re avoiding boundaries because you’re scared of how she’ll react:
→ The FREE Escalation-Proof Boundary Planner helps you set a boundary today and know exactly what to do when she pushes back.
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).