5 Communication Mistakes That Keep You Stuck in the Ex's Drama
DEALING WITH THE EX
17 June 2025
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Ever spent hours crafting the perfect response to your partner's high conflict ex, only to have it blow up in your face?
In this episode, I reveal the five biggest communication mistakes you’re making.
You'll discover why your well-intentioned approaches backfire and set you up for endless drama.
By the end, you’ll be able to stop exhausting yourself with strategies that never work, and instead find new ones that do.
Key Takeaways
High conflict people don't follow normal communication patterns. They aren't interested in resolving anything, their goal is to increase the conflict.
Trying to make her see reason doesn't work, no matter how logical your explanation.
Engaging emotionally rewards her because the reaction itself is often what she's really after.
Over-explaining gives her more material to escalate with and creates a written record that can be used against you later.
Bringing up past issues keeps them alive in the present, because she treats old conflicts as though they happened yesterday.
Naming her behaviour directly to her, even gently, tends to be read as an attack.
While these mistakes might feel natural or even satisfying in the moment, they ultimately keep you trapped in a cycle of conflict. The goal should be to end the conversation – as quickly as possible.
Next Steps
If you want a better way to handle her messages:
→ This free guide shows you how to respond – without making things worse.
Hi, I'm Kellie
I'm a stepmum of two, high conflict survivor and a certified coach. I help stepmums handle the sh*t that comes with the ex, with no-BS strategies that actually work (I know because I use them myself).